Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
