can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
someone owes me an orgasm
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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