I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Randomize
