too bad you live with your parents still
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
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