We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
