i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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