it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
