I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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