i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
