hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize