Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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