Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
A bitchslap is in order.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
