you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Randomize
