you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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