i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
