Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
