My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize