Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
