I think I am morally bankrupt
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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