DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
