GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Randomize
