So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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