Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
