He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
