I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
