Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
