Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
