Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
