I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
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