once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize