before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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