pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize