I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Randomize
