I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Randomize
