if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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