the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
