why do cheetos always look like penises
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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