So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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