I wannas sexs uuuuu
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
