Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
