i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
