Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
