Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
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