you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
