i don't plan on having that self control this summer
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
he quoted the bible to break up with me
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Randomize
