Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
