I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
