woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
The dick lei will go down in squad history
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Randomize
