So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
