I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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