Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
