I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
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