there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
