i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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