Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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