and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
