When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
