we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
