look no pants
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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