Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
