Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
