Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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