week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
