I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Just puked most of my soul out..
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize