I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
