Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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