Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
