It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
