I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
