Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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