oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
