loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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