now i know why i became what i already was.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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