I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize
