We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I have aggressive nipples.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Randomize
