Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize