theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
