Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
