my sisters under your porch take her home
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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